Orphanage Visit

Found Here Alone At Two Years Old

Well last night was a long but good night. Our daughter was up all night. Finally, around 3 AM I just decided to get up and visit with her. Still in a good mood but just suffering from that inevitable jet lag that she will probably adjust to about the time we leave. Still, it was a good time for us to talk and soon Lisa was up visiting as well. At least we all showered and were ready for breakfast right at 6:30 AM. At 8:30 AM our guide picked us up and we headed for the orphanage, a two and a half hour trek north. It was only about 30 minutes into the drive and I was the only one awake aside from the driver and our guide. It was a really good feeling to have our daughter just collapse with her head on my shoulder and fall asleep. On the way back she switched shoulders and slept Lisa’s way. She was obviously a little agitated or at least nervous about the trip and it showed more as we got closer. When we finally arrived she had only a very vague recollection and I’m not sure if she really remembered at all. We were met by the Vice Director and took a couple of pictures in front of the orphanage with our new family member which she did not like at all. As a matter of fact, she would just as soon not have her picture taken at all. She was not really rude and is a very polite young lady but at some point we did have to tell her she needed to be respectful of the people who went to so much trouble for her. That teenage spirit was showing itself. Fortunately, even if she does not like it she will listen and respond appropriately to her new parents and other elders. Still, I think she was just reacting poorly because of fatigue and anxiety about the visit. I think she also may get embarrassed and not quite know how to react. Getting her to smile even for pictures was really tough. Regardless, the visit was great. We went to a very nice conference room where we met many of the same orphanage staff who came to the adoption registration office the day before as well as some others. I also realized where she gets her taste for fruit. They had tons of fruit. Boxes and boxes of tangerines, bananas and other fruit. We had some green tea and tangerines while everyone took photo ops. Then they called a lady named Jenny for her talk to. Jenny is in her 70’s and apparently was very involved in helping her get funding and making arrangements for her to come to the US and get much of her cosmetic and functional surgeries done. After Jenny finished talking with her she took a good bit of time and talked with Lisa. Then they brought in another staff member by the name of Yihua and her face lit up like a Christmas tree on the White House lawn. She immediately recognized her and said “I know you! You were my teacher.” She hugged her and it was clear there was a bond. As it turned out she was the teacher assigned to her and she spent all her time with her. Next there were photos that we went through of her as a little girl and as she grew up. It was a very emotional and touching time. I truly believe this staffed cared about her. The Director presented her with a decorative gold plate with the name and symbols of the city. Then they presented us with a picture book that included organized pictures and captions of her life at the orphanage. That one got Lisa crying. I will be scanning it and sending an electronic copy to the foster family. I know they will appreciate it as much as we do. Next we did the tour. They explained to us that there were 50 to 60 children and about 80% were special needs. There were also elderly housed at the same place just like the orphanages we have visited in Vietnam with Southeast Asian Healthcare Partners, Inc. First stop was the toddlers who were just adorable. I know I fell in love with every one of them. There was a little downs syndrome boy who just kept grabbing me and pulling me down to show me his stuffed bear. There were other children just playing with toys and having a really good time. Obviously we cannot be sure how much was done for our benefit but I do think they try to give these kids good care. The elder side was a little less desirable and I’m sure that is because the kids always get the attention from outside organizations as well as others who donate and work to get the kids adopted. Then we went to see the room where she stayed while at the orphanage. It was small but adequate and had four sets of bunk beds in the room. We got pictures of her next to her bed which she did remember. She also remembered the top bunk was hers. I will post some select pictures when we get home. For those of you we know really well we will email some to you soon. Next we went to see the two children she might remember. They were the only ones who had not been adopted. Now this was a very tough part of the visit. There was a little boy with a cleft lip who was probably cognitively delayed but so happy and so pleased to see us. These kids need homes and soon before they become too old to adopt. There was one particular girl who had been there for some time who was absolutely beautiful, polite, and easy to love at first sight but she was 15 years old. It is still possible to get special permission to adopt her but it would be difficult even if it were not for the red tape because of her age. I cannot tell you how lovable she was. But she was sad and you could tell. I do not believe she had any medical or cognitive problems but she was just unwanted. Why would any child of God be unwanted? That goes for all ages up to and including the elderly we so often work with. Unfortunately, new parents want babies, preferably healthy babies. Almost no one wants the elderly. Of course that is not just here in Asia but everywhere. I’m warning you now, Lisa is on a mission. Beware when we get back. She will do whatever she can to start getting this girl and the boy a home. What you could do now is pray for them, all of them. Next we visited the old part of the orphanage. It was somewhat rusted and most of it was no longer used except it appeared this is where the elderly were housed. I cannot be absolutely certain. As we walked, she suddenly remembered. She recognized where she played and jumped on one piece of playground equipment that I believe was her favorite. Apparently these memories were strong because she had no doubt she knew where she was. After taking as many pictures as I could and touring and asking questions we headed off for lunch with the orphanage staff. We were taken to a very nice restaurant with a private room set up for us. Unfortunately, because of space limitations on the ride over our new daughter ended up on my lap for the short ride and she was none too pleased. I cannot say that I blame her either but she was a trooper and put up with this indignity. We had a very nice meal (as usual I am not entirely sure of everything we ate but that is part of the adventure) and she of course was the focus of all the attention which I could see was beginning to wear on her. Still she held up and even enjoyed some of the memories and talking with the staff. They invited us back and I know they really meant it. By the time we left, she was talking about wanting to come back and visit again when she was older. She was also talking about wanting to learn the language again. I cannot tell you what an emotional rollercoaster this must be for her. Our final destination before the two and a half hour drive back was to see the place she was found. This is the one picture I will post. It was a small back street business area and it was very sad to know this is where she was left alone at two years old. She was found there and after a search for her parents was unsuccessful, taken to the orphanage. What an emotional day. I am so glad we made this trip. I was not sure but I now know she needed the visit and I think will eventually return to learn more about her heritage and history as a child. For now, she has pictures and memories she can carry with her for a long time if not forever. Tomorrow we are going to have a Skype call with her foster family and then we are off to shop. Apparently one of her favorite pastimes. I see bankruptcy in our future with six daughters all shopping. Still, she is so looking forward to it there is no way I can say no. Lisa will tell you I can’t say no to them ever but I don’t think that is completely true. For now I am going to sign off and get ready for tomorrow. We now have all the official paperwork and Friday we head for the next city where she will get a complete medical exam and we start the application process for her VISA to return to the US and immediately become a citizen. That is the last phase of this portion of her long journey. I cannot help but wonder what God has in store for her. Whatever it is, we are just so privileged to be a part of it. As someone just wrote me, actually several people, To God Be The Glory. And now for another meal.